I love my kids so much. I would change the world for the better just for them. As they both grow, i gradually begin to admire their innocence, their courage, their adventurous attitude but needless to say, kids will always be kids. Every parent will eventually go through those amazing yet fabulous moments having them growing day by day beside you, and yet at times kids are naturally the instigator that drives us parents up the wall.
One of my personal trigger is The Whine!
Let the Whining Begin!!!!
My children have learned a new talent. I call it the drive-momma-crazy talent. You’d probably recognize it as whining. “Momma, I’m bored” has turned into “Mommmmmeeeeee, I’m booooorrrrreed.” I honestly don’t understand why this happens, but I’m sure I must have done this as a child too. I’m trying to be a good mom and I refrain from whining back at them. “Whaaaat do you waaaaant to dooooooo?” Sometimes the whining isn’t even in the form of words. My kids will just grunt at me like little animals—like when its lunch or dinner time and i have prepared rice and not pasta.
Oh, it can be disastrous! I’ve actually tried a number of things, numerous methods and act both as a tame as a cat as compared to a lion. Obviously, some of them worked and some of them didn’t. Both my kids continue to whine. I hear that this will go on and on and on throughout their teen years as well. Oh, the joy and happiness these thoughts bring me.
No doubt, sometimes kids whine when they are tired. But i have realized that this isn’t always the case for my kids. Their natural talent yet amazes me as they stretch further into the toddler milestone.
Should You Ignore the Whining?
I have heard some parents suggest that you should simply ignore the whining child. I’d be surprised if that works for you. Ultimately, I disagree with that method, though that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I simply see whining as a form of attention seeking. Unfortunately, this is considered negative attention and it’s a type of attention we don’t want to give. If we completely ignore the fact that it’s happening, we could be sending the message of “I don’t care” when the message we really want to send is, “I’ll communicate with you when you stop this negative behavior.” This message can easily be presented to an older child or teenager as is, but the younger ones may need a simpler explanation.
I’m still trying with my three-year-old son and soon to be five-year-old daughter. Occasionally they will taper down their whining a bit when I say, “Momma will talk to you when you can talk nicely with your nice voice” You don’t necessarily have to ignore them to get your point across that Momma isn’t going to take any action until the whining stops.
Sometimes, my kids also will start the process of whining because they want something they can’t have whether the biscuits are all finished or a particular toy from the store that they already have at home. Doesn’t this drive you up the wall at times?!?!?!
I used to take the shortcut and distract them with something else, but i realized that it wasn’t teaching them anything. So i changed my method and tried (the ang mob style) explaining to them that I’m sorry they are upset about not being able to have things their way. Then I’ll ask them, “What should we do now about it?” And occasionally explain to them about sharing with each other or by explaining to them they have a similar or exact same toy at home. Sometimes, it works and sometimes it doesn’t. The idea is to let them be responsible to resolve the issue. Once they realizes the issue can’t be resolved that very second, they are lightly to let it go.. *this usually works for my kids.. not too sure about yours though*
Stop the Whining Before It Starts
One thing i realized about whining is that while it’s not ever pleasant, we grown-ups might be perpetuating it. Have you heard this before?
“Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Moooommmmy?” By the time we are on “Mommy” number four, we are at full whine. Oh, I’ve played that game before. My daughter outwits me when I get frustrated and snap at her: “Whattttt ?” And she responds with “I love you.” While this exchange is adorable, I could have avoided the initial whining if I’d simply listened and responded.
Don’t Give in to Whining
Finally, as i have lived in the whining zone the past 2 good years.. i’d like to say don’t give in to the whining. Yes, you should still choose your battles. If your battle is with the whining and not the situation, be sure to bend and twist. Like my son insisting to wear socks even at home just because he wants to look like daddy! “Honey, it really doesn’t matter if you wear your socks at home, but until you can ask me like a big boy, we won’t be able to have an understanding.” If this advice seems all too obvious, that’s because it is. The more you give in to the whining, the more the child will use it against you. Respect works both ways. I find that listening and speaking to my kids respectfully and then ask them to treat you the same usually works for the better. It’s tough and at times i do struggle as well (i’m no perfect momma). But going to bed after one full day of scream free daunting challenges with your kids somehow not brings the kids closer, but it keeps my mental state a lot happier!
How do you handle your whining child/children?